He also promises to “square up” the Oval Office
Washington, D.C.: (Bob’s Blog) Presumptive Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney told his staff that he has already begun the process of “Corvetting” potential vice presidential candidates. “I’ve already purchased five brand new Corvettes for Marco Rubio, Rob Portman, Jeb Bush, Bob McDonnell and Donald Trump,” said Romney.
Disbelieving staffers asked their leader if he didn’t mean that he had been “vetting” the candidates … researching their backgrounds and issue positions. “No,” Romney replied, “If I’ve learned anything in the primary, it’s that where a person stands on the issues is irrelevant. What matters is how much money we’ll have to spend to make their positions as fluid as mine.”
When asked about the Corvette Romney had delivered to his Florida address, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio said, “Mitt really wants me in the Hispanic neighborhoods. He sent me a custom Corvette with “low rider” shocks and motors and so I can lift the front, the back or the whole car about two feet. It also has red, white and blue under-carriage lighting for night campaigning.”
When asked if the expenditure of such a large amount of money might feed the image that he is and out-of-touch rich guy with no grip on what the middle class is enduring, Romney responded, “I don’t think anyone will know since I took the money out of an off-shore slush-fund account in the Baha … I mean, doesn’t everyone buy cars for their friends?”
In other news, Romney told supporters that when he is elected, he will use his own money and his own car-elevator contractors to “square up” the Oval Office.
