Romney is shocked

Perry promotes Texas solution for Washington woes: Electrocute Congress

Des Moines, Iowa: (Bob’s Blog) Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry has taken a shocking position by promoting a Texas-style solution for the troubles in Washington: Electrocute Congress.

In a stump speech in Iowa, Perry told supporters that after “taking care of Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke,” he would solve the gridlock in Washington by electrocuting everyone in Congress. “I’m not wish-washy about my approach,” said Perry, “I traded e-mails with God last night and He encouraged me to amp up my attack on anyone who demonstrates common sense.”

Opponent Mitt Romney did not comment on Perry’s plan but instead was wondering why his parents named him after a piece of baseball equipment. “I go through this every October when the playoffs are on,” Mitt said.

In other campaign news, Sara Palin bravely announced that she was chickening out. “I’ve decided not to throw my dunce cap in the ring,” she said. “Does anyone want to buy a bus?” Palin added that, although she is not going to run, she plans to stay on the permanent vacation/campaign trail as long as there are people who are willing to buy gas for that huge guzzler.  

"I'm only getting nine lies per gallon and my supporters really need more than that to continue forking over more cash to me," Palin said.

Candidate Michele Bachmann announced that she was willing to negotiate with Palin for the bus if it could run on idiotic statements instead of lies.