Obama submits Republican primary campaign to the editors of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not

Entry would be next to world's largest wad of gum

Washington, D.C.: (Bob’s Blog) Today, President Obama announced that he has asked the editors of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not to consider the entire Republican presidential campaign for their next publication.
“I’ve been in politics a long time,” the President said, “and no one I know can believe what their own eyes and ears have seen and heard from the GOP candidates. The strange, unbelievable behavior of their candidates and supporters started five minutes into my inaugural speech in 2009 and has continued all the way through the Republican primary debates, speeches and campaign ads leading up to the Michigan vote this Tuesday.”
Obama added that he got the idea when he heard Mitt Romney telling auto workers in Michigan that it would have been better if they had lost their jobs.
Americans seem to agree that Republicans are participating in a process that only they understand. “My dad once told me that the only thing you’ll never see is bird crap under a cuckoo clock,” said one Independent voter, “but even my dad couldn’t have predicted the unbelievable actions and rhetoric being excreted by Romney, Santorum, Paul and Gingrich.”
One representative of Ripley’s said that even they could not believe the GOP campaigners.
In other news, Rep. Nancy Pelosi has proposed legislation affecting men. “If women are going to have to have an invasive vaginal probe procedure before having an abortion, my legislation will require men to get kicked in the nuts before having intercourse,” Pelosi said.