Strange bedfellows

World leaders to shelve personal meetings in favor of new antisocial media site called farcebook

Palo Alto, CA (Bob’s Blog): With their busy schedules filled with activities like planning wars, torturing protesters, stealing from taxpayers, gouging oil consumers, subjugating women, gassing citizens, taking bribes, growing heroin, dropping bombs, launching missiles, and other daily tasks, it’s nearly impossible for world leaders to stay connected. To solve this problem, Mark Zuckerberg is launching a new antisocial media site called Farcebook.

Farcebook will allow old friends to stay in touch, poke friends with Cruise missiles or even “live chat” with dead people. Many current and former world leaders are already excited about the prospects. Former President Jimmy Carter said he can hardly wait to see photos from his old pal Manuel Noriega who is vacationing in La Sante Prison in France. “He worked so well with our guys in the CIA,” said Carter.

And since his ouster from Libya, Moamar Gaddafi has been unavailable for his BFFL, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair. “I miss his firm handshake and the whirlpool baths he had in all his palaces,” Blair said. “I especially loved the one with the mosaic tile image of Condoleezza Rice on the pool wall.”

Former President George W. Bush lamented that because Laura is not big on public displays of affection, he misses holding hands with Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Abdullah. “I suppose the new Farcebook site won’t be quite the same, but it will sure allow Abby and me to stay in touch emotionally,” Bush said.

Zuckerberg says his new Farcebook site will even allow former U.S. Sec. of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to IM with his close friend and formerly-alive Iraqi despot Saddam Hussein. “We’ve figured out a way to interface with those who have crossed over to the other side,” Zuckerberg said. “We got the idea from the movie The Sixth Sense. We’ve taken the “I see dead people” concept to the next level. Now, you’ll be able to live chat with them.”

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann expressed some reservations about the new site. “I’m not sure my anti-virus program is current enough to prevent infection from those who died of some illness like the China Syndrome,” she said.