If elected, Romney vows international tour to visit his money
Boston, MA: (Bob’s Blog) Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney vowed today that, if elected, he will conduct a world tour to visit all of his money.
Leaders of China, India, nations of the Middle East and South America will have to wait for a visit from a future President Romney who pledged that since his money will have played such a crucial role in his election that it would only be fair to visit those countries first.
After the new paint dries on Air Force One Million, the new name Romney has planned for the presidential jet, Romney will fill-er-up with hi-test and head for Ireland, Luxembourg and Switzerland. After private lunches with his secret stash of cash in Europe, Romney will return to the Cayman Islands and finish his world tour with a brief vacation in Bermuda where he and his money will go SeaDoo riding together.
“It seems fair,” Romney said, “that I take the opportunity to thank those dollars that helped get me elected.
Spokespeople for the Obama campaign said that their attempts to get Romney’s money to return to America voluntarily have failed due to the intransigence of Republicans in Congress who believe that Romney earned the money so he should be allowed to hide it wherever he wants. “Joint custody of my money is not an option,” said Romney.
“Besides,” he added, “at a federal income tax rate less than 15 percent, I’m paying more than every homeless person I know. I’m not embarrassed by that at all.” When asked, Romney could not name a homeless person.
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