Brits asked to use "cherrio" instead of "ta-ta" when saying goodbye

The British Empire today declared war on

France over publication of royal boobs

London.: (Bob’s Blog) The British Parliament declared war on France today citing the decision by the French government to allow a French paper to publish topless photos of Her Royal Highness Duchess of Cambridge (nee Kate Middleton) taken while she and her husband Prince William (nee Prince William) were at a secluded chateau in the South of France.

“We are appalled that the French would publish pictures of Kate’s royal nipples,” said Prime Minister David Cameron. “The French have always shown such restraint when it comes to public nudity. I mean they put a robe on the Statue of Liberty didn’t they?”

French President François Hollande was unimpressed with the declaration of war but promised to surrender immediately.  

The Prince and Princess have not commented on the invasion of their privacy but unnamed sources inside Buckingham Palace have hinted that their lawyers will cover all the bases at trying to cover the royal boobs from public consumption. “Consumption of the Princess’ breasts is Prince William’s job,” one source said.

One member of the royal family was heard screaming about how careless it was for Kate to have exposed herself for some paparazzi with a telephoto lens to catch her in such a compromising position. “I think she should be ashamed or herself,” he said. “Being a member of the royal family carries with it an elevated sense of responsibility to use caution and good judgment before baring the crown jewels for the world to see.”

Others inside Buckingham Palace brushed off this scolding from Prince Harry (nee Prince Balls to the Wall). It was reported that the Queen asked if it would be possible to send Princess Kate to Afghanistan with Harry until things quieted down. “It seems that hanging around long enough to avoid that putz Charles from taking over was wasted effort,” the Queen said.

In other news, the Republican Party was continuing its efforts to elect its own pair of boobs by purchasing millions of dollars worth of air time. The newest ads will tout the party's ability to create thousands of new jobs for fact checkers at various news rooms across the nation.