More gold medal numbskulls

Olympic planners may add riotous events to London games.

London, England: (Bob’s Blog) Olympic planners in London have been inspired by street thugs to add several riot-oriented events to the 2012 games. Organizers have even suggested replacing the carrying of the traditional torch by having Prime Minister David Cameron drive a flaming bus into Olympic Stadium.

The list of possible events include: Police car tipping, rock throwing for both accuracy and distance, looting for weight, looting for total dollar value and rubber bullet dodging.

Labor leader Ed Miliband said, “It’s about time we brought the games into the 21^st Century. Adapting a track and field event like the steeple chase by asking entrants to negotiate flaming dumpsters, hurdle police barricades and avoid bobbies with clubs adds a video game-like element that will draw younger viewers.”

When asked if the rioting thugs will be invited to participate in the opening ceremonies, committee chairperson Sebastian Coe said, “Not formally; but nobody invited them to set London on fire, either; and that didn’t stop them, did it ol’ chap?”

Coe, who is a former 1980 and 1984 Olympic gold medalist in middle distance running, believes that top world competitors have an increased chance of setting new world records if they are being chased by an angry mob of ruffians.

IOC President Jacques Rogge is confident that the recent rioting in London will not affect his approach to the games since his wife has made vacation plans for them to be in the Bahamas during the games.