Tackling problems not on GOP agenda

For third year in a row, GOP football camp focuses on “blocking”

Washington, DC : (Bob’s Blog) As the new football season rapidly approaches, GOP players and coaches are again putting 100 percent of their training efforts into “blocking” … anything the President tries to do to “tackle” the problems facing the nation.

“It used to be that blocking AND tackling were important,” said a Republican strategist working for new Presidential candidate Rick Perry. “But since Obama’s election we’ve discovered that just blocking is our most valuable tool. Heck, we Republicans haven’t tackled anything but repaying our contributors in more than 10 or 20 years.”

Recent victories in getting the Obama Administration to compromise with itself over issues like the extension of the Bush tax cuts, the raising of the nation’s debt limit and the successful defeat of a single-payer national health program have all given the Republicans reason to believe their game plan is solid.

On the campaign trail, Rep. Michele Bachmann insisted that the voters want the President to leave Iowa, return to Washington and start working on “tackling” the nation’s problems. “If he’s here, what will we have to block when we get back to Washington,” Bachmann said. “We’ve had all these blocking practices and he’s not giving us anything to block.”

Also in Iowa, Pres. Obama denied that his campaign bus trip is a campaign bus trip in the same sense that Sarah Palin is on a vacation drive. He also said that he has left Washington in good hands. “Vice President Biden is behind closed doors and in heavy negotiations about the grand plan that failed several weeks ago. He’s been making tremendous progress by utilizing the tried and true practice of simple compromise,” the President said. When asked who else is in these negotiations with the VP, Obama said, “No, it’s just Joe. He’s in there by himself. And so far this week, he’s conceded only five or six of our negotiating positions.”

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said that things should be much easier for the Presidents team now that their playbook is down to one page: Hail Mary on one.